Bradgelina not Jeff and Cicciolina

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel «« Hana, my wife, and I stayed in not-hotel not-resort locations all but six nights during our September in Italy. Accomodations were varied like one would expect from private accomodations. The problem I have with each location is security. None of these private places have digital keys, and there is a reason even low-budget hotels have digital keys. Anyone who visited Lecce as a tourist would be glad he or she accepted this advice prior to travel: know: ONE: Lupa TWO: Giuseppe Cino THREE: Francesco Antonio Zimbalo FOUR: Giuseppe Zimbalo. Each man is an artist who worked across centuries, and together they made a noteworthy contribution to the beauty of Lecce — ooops Lupa is a wolf not a man. Multiple and varied accommodations made my laundry process adapt. The best was when accommodations included an electric tea kettle, which made sure my clothes dried without bad smell. I am an adventurous eater, and my secret to healthy digestion and high tourist uptime: Kelloggs All Bran. Short says in multiple places makes a fun and instagramable trip, but OMG I forgot my charge cord can tear into tourist uptime. Here is my advice: consider a loss like one considers a lost umbrella; no big deal. This is a sentence from my first tour book: Olive trees stand in the landscape like sort of rural cathedrals, solid and austere like old patriarchs knotty and monumental like sculptures, but above all generous and ancient at least as the Mediterranean. Dear kind readers: I have never seen a tour book credit its writer, so I don’t know who I’m criticizing. This is an example of bad writing, and if you buy one like this you’ll probably have to buy another one like I did. Sincerely, Tom Doody. Bradgelina not Jeff and Cicciolina. I said this a million times to Hana as we practice behaving, so as not to attract negative unnecessary attention to ourselves. Rather than confessing our sins here’s an example of who we strive not to be: a couple, man and woman, enter an eating area at a Galipoli hotel breakfast with no pro to greet and seat them. The woman points to the left and walks to the terrace, and the man points to the right and walks to explore more of the inside seating. Unnecessary drama . . Jeff and Cicciolina rather than Red-Carpet perfection like Bradgelina. It’s better, and especially better wearing Covid mask to enter a room as a couple and pause while visually surveying. Without taking steps, and without pointing, talk about where to sit, including who sits in which chair, and then approach the table. Bradgelina not Jeff and Cicciolina.

About Tom Doody

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel
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