Erika comment

Erika’s comment on "my pledge" refers to the risk I’ve taken in my disclosure . . I’ve said as much as I plan to about my home life, and talk instead I’ll talk generally . . it’s understandable that Erika reacts imagining how Hana would react, but Hana’s actual reaction will remain hers instead I’ll speak in general . . with whatever is happening in private sex or no sex, fun or no fun, peace or no peace, nurturing or berating, violence or no abuse, united social life or independent social life . . . recently a gunman in a mass shooting was disclosed in the news that he was living with his exwife . . this was the Bay Area CA light rail workplace gunman . . so they were cohabiting, not legally married, and no plans to grow old together . . their troubles were made public when they divorced, which was easily retrieved by the press in a public-record search in other words: legal marriage NO, cohabitate YES, plans to grow old together NO, in retrospect my first marriage failed first in the plans to grow old together . . my home life had become a temporary arrangement, and I would say that in arguments, "this is temporary" and it help me remain calm while . . . one can speculate escalation of the other party . .me and my 1st wife continued to cohabitate dotted with lengthening times of separation until the final one and then the legal end of the marriage . . my point is marriages fall about in different order Anthony Bourdain is another example who had no plans to grow old with his wife, was legally married, were sort of cohabitating considering his travel schedule, and then his suicide whala the tracking-to-exwife becomes wife again post mordem . . my recent disclosure just moved public disclosure up . . so much is made about "coming out" and the incredible relieve people feel just telling the world . . in most cases . . like mine the world doesn’t care, but enough people care to matter, and people who disclose feel relieved . . the pledge I made from lessons of marriage one is if I feel my sense of growing old together is unraveling, then it will not remain a secret, and for me my blog was the perfect place to disclose . . about a week has passed, and I have yet to regret my choice Hana y yo are married, we cohabitate, and we have plans to grow old together . .

About Tom Doody

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel
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