former amigo

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel «« Fortunately I remembered to download my amigo txt vid before I transited from NJ to NYC, so I listened multiple times, and it’s easy. First a credit to Diego I’ll always be grateful for: he wrote the best-anyone-could-hope-for validate-marriage immigration letter for me and Hana, and there’s nothing he can do now to make me less appreciative. In his letter he expressed beautifully his sincere happiness for Hana and me, and he pulled from experience only an immigrant could have. In addition Diego’s ability to express himself in English is awesome. He’s a natural writer in English, and I trust Italian too. Diego accused me of calling him a Nazi, but I didn’t, and records validate my counterclaim and invalidate Diego’s claim. Diego’s explosion was not in proportion to the occasion, but the presentation makes Diego’s off-the-rails reaction understandable. Yesterday, the first day of Hanukkah I posted: “Happy Hanukkah y’all Jewish ppl” on my fb wall, and Diego criticized me in a one-to-one fb msg. I make it my practice to match my outgoing with the incoming, aka fb msg in equals fb msg out, but Diego gave me a twist. Diego replied to my public post with a one-to-one criticism. Criticised, I felt justified to reply, and given the origin being public I replied by recording in my youtube channel, and posted a link to Diego in fb messenger. Though I did not go through all these mental calisthenics at the moment it makes sense in retrospect. Diego in effect gave me the opportunity to reply to him while also making a public reply appropriate. In effect my public post triggered Diego’s one-to-one reply laying the groundwork for my dual reply. ¿Dual? meaning both one-to-one (fb msg) and public (youtube). This was Diego’s explosion trigger. Diego seems to have felt violated that I called him a Nazi (false) in a “pubic channel”. With raised sensitivity if a similar situation presents itself a softer approach by me might have been as simple as: “Diego, you replied to a public post via one-to-one msg, because you’ve done this my reply tactic includes both public and one-to-one. Dear kind readers: I used this clumsy “one-to-one” phrase repeatedly in this post. Please note it’s a constant reminder to me that one-to-one has special expectations of the other party, but is not private. If digitized I accept my words are not private. Sincerely, Tom Doody »» about me 302-990-2346

About Tom Doody

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel
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