bright Black Friday

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel «« My mother died earlier this year, which makes this the first holiday without my mom living, but somehow I processed most of my grief at the moment. My mom’s, Martha’s, death was not unexpected or tragic. I harvested Erin’s, my daughter’s, email off a distribution list used on the occasion of Martha’s death. Though Erin may be pissed I got her email ID I feel getting her address from a distribution list on the occasion of my mom’s (her gmom’s) death is a position I can defend. Also on that email distribution list was my first wife, which can be interpreted as a family’s long arc of healing. Prior to this email I have reason to believe my exwife and I were never on the same list, and I have reason to believe we were always addressed separately with anxiety linked to a social-explosion fear. People often say: “time heals” as if waiting is enough, but I feel healing must be more active, and this year I was active. I talked with my former brother-in-law, Luke, on what would have been (if he were living) David’s thirty-second birthday. Though Luke and I talked since I split with his sis it was never relaxed and long like it was 2June2020 making that call a 2020 highlight for me. All this time has passed with background fear that I’d reach to Erin, and I’d get nasty blowback, which would set me back . . back . . back . . . well to my grave. Though Erin has not responded my reach followed by silence feels like peaceful healing. 2020 is nearing the end with a lot of people dead from Covid19, and a lot of weird things including major sporting events with no on-site spectators. Weird 2020 with bright spots, and on this Black Friday brightness dominates. »» about me 302-990-2346