middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel «« Last night at dinner I overheard someone speaking about Dr. John Sarno’s book, and I talked with Hana about what it meant to me, and almost unprecedented Hana expressed curiosity about my first marriage including what happened, and why it took so long to end. Dear kind readers: My first marriage and my current marriage are each about a decade and a half, so it might seem weird Hana would have unanswered questions now. I’ll try to answer. Sincerely, Tom Doody. The wonder of my marriage to Hana is my intellectual freedom, so time passes without probing these topics, and the other reason is that I don’t say my exwife’s name, and I don’t do first-marriage play-by-play. Marriage counseling with my first wife was dominated by confessing one another’s sin, and I got passed my inclination, and began focusing on me. My arguments with my first wife would begin and each of us would have worthy sins for our next counseling appointment. As I tried to get beyond focus on my first wife’s sins, and on my own it created a moment I told Hana last night, and I’ll retell now. I tell this story as a true story, and I believe it’s true, but it was a cloudy troubled part of my life, and my memory of these years have been proven off. Off in details like when and where, so my best goes like this: I was sitting on the couch in what proved to my first wife’s and my second final marital property where my first born son, David, is buried, Carlisle Pennsylvania. The trigger and the content of the argument is forgotten, and my memory includes my early days of remaining calm, and not contributing to escalation. I felt a blood vessel on me neck pulsing, and my exwife saw it to. She relented, and I was left with hope this was the beginning of a better place for our marriage, but it did not prove true. I continued to improve in calm, patients, and thoughtfulness, but none of the good trend I was experiencing made any noticeable improvement in my marriage. Sometimes it moved us in the negative direction as I remained calm it communicated I didn’t care, which with a lot more time proved to be true. There was still time to save my first marriage, but my calm did not spread. The best news of all is the lessons I learned allowed me to leave my baggage behind, and never do moments in my marriage to Hana trigger deja vu. My marriage to Hana is peaceful, fresh, and fun. Dr. John Sarno was the trigger last night, which was a book that I credit for healing my back pain. Headaches were also chronic during those years of my first marriage, and eventually my stroke followed by a coma. I tap this story now with comfort like I told it last night at dinner. Like my late son’s, David’s, death, and my recovery I can think and talk about those experiences comfortably, which is maybe the best tribute I can give David. I can talk about him comfortably with fond memories clouded by his premature death, but only party clouded. People can heal — amen alleluia assalamualaikum mazel tov. »» about me 302-990-2346 contact

About Tom Doody

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel
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