undoing is underrated

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel «« My spontaneous reactions to my Ryan-emancipation motion being judged final was captured on soundcloud. I made promises in my first wedding in 1987, and the most basic promises were not kept. Three decades later — done. I was motivated to continue my first marriage when I finally surrendered after a decade and a half, and if I knew then what I know now about relationships it would not have ended. If I had a blog then I would have posted my first move out, and I believe that would have changed the course of my marriage history. Oh well that card was not played, and I ended my first marriage, and started my second. I can be sure I like my life better married to Hana than the life I can imagine if I had saved my first marriage, but either way I’d be happy with a peaceful home. In addition to being grateful for repeat readers I recognize the benefit of modest popularity over celebrity popularity or influencer popularity. From my click-tap-history reports I could see the flash interest in my court appearance, and that same interest would have been masked by higher popularity. Combined with phone calls with my brother and cousin the moment felt like a formal rite of passage. That moment tearful in the crowded rushing LIRR Penn Station subterranean NYC pedestrian corridor during and after my call with my cousin had all the punch of a formal ceremony. I had key people who responded supportively, and my click-tap-history gave me the sensation of a congregation. I mean this sincerely that moment ending my legal bond to my first wife felt as big and as important as the event uniting us. Doing things often comes with ceremony, and undoing things lacks ceremony. Undoing things is underrated. »» about me 302-990-2346 contact us

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About Tom Doody

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel
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8 Responses to undoing is underrated

  1. Erika M says:

    Tom, you had to know that I wouldn’t let a few things in this post go without asking for more information. “If I knew then what I know now about relationships it would not have ended.” I have to ask- what would have been different? By your statement you make it sound like the things that went wrong with your first marriage could have somehow been different if you had the wisdom then that you have today and that things would somehow have turned out fine in that relationship. Same with “I like my life better married to Hana than the life I can imagine if I had saved my first marriage, but either way I’d be happy with a peaceful home” Things were obviously bad or you wouldn’t have left. If you really feel that you would have been almost happy and peaceful then I could make the argument that you would actually be happier because in that alternate reality you wouldn’t be estranged from your son and daughter. I think you owe your readers a little more clarification than what you provided.

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