good bad love

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel «« John Bixby is a drug addict in and out of prison in New Hampshire. The woman in his life (¿Married? don’t know) is the mother of his children, and the children’s custody has been transferred from the couple to family. Their story is one of the many ugly stories of drug addition told intimately by the NYTimes in a 00:16:27 vid on the NYTimes youtube channel. A scene includes the mother and father talking to their kids in what appears to be a laptop vid call, and the parents say with obnoxious frequency and emptiness, “I love you”. There is terrible desperation in the parent’s voices each time they say, “I love you” as if love in all conditions is something to celebrate. “True love” is often used or “lasting love” as if the word, “love” is not good enough. In our language we need to distinguish good love from bad love. Chronic failures are abundant in John Bixby’s life, so I sit here tapping away wondering why I choose to write about the tone and frequency applied in John’s declaration of parental love. I’ve read children who are abused who grow into sexually mature adults can be tracking to crave kinky sex. It’s theorized that parental love declared to a kid as they’re subjected to pain begins their association of pain and love, and pain and sex. In the case of John Bixby’s kids in the NYTimes vid I can only imagine their association with John Bixby’s love for them is their first sense of love, but the word, “love” in the parental-kid vid-call scene seems to be a program for failure. I mean this sincerely: thank you NYTimes for an ugly story intimately told. »» about me 302-990-2346 contact us

About Tom Doody

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel
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