we’re aging

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel «« Talked to Kevin, Debby, Beth, Brian, and Amy. Left Christmas messages for Drew and David. Either by chance or by subconscious strategy my family calls started with people I expected to engage, and ended with Drew and David who I expected VMs only, so I was able to voice a holiday message from me and the people I did talk to on the VMs. Our reigning patriarch is Kevin though some family members might see Laurie on top . . . either way I delivered a holiday greeting via VM from reigning King Kevin, which at this moment feels like Christmas began setting foundation for 2018. A stroke I had in the Nighties resulted in a 911, ambulance ride coma, hospitalization, rehab, and a significant part of a year recovering. Though I had another child, Ryan, with my first wife that stroke was the beginning of the end of my first marriage. Amy yesterday is connecting fresh family medical news with my stroke, so for anyone who cares for curiosity or family members searching for answers more personally: my stroke was undiagnosed. My mother and my exwife would be the best resources, and my exwife might even have records. Here’s what I believe: the first diagnosis of something in my blood causing a blockage in my brain was later disputed at Mayo clinic. The Mayo doc, who we all sort of settled as the highest and final authority, said the brain-bound projectile could not have caused both my fainting spell and my stroke five weeks later. The Mayo doc left me with the sense: “¿Cause? is not known, and cause will not be known” . . .. okay with me, because I had already settled on my own calming reconciliation. I had already sensed my fragility to stress, and had begun making changes. Those changes eventually navigated me from my first marriage, and my food-science career. There is a Harrisburg Patriot feature story on my stroke recovery in my blog and read by me on my youtube channel. I have no memory of any medical pro saying my stroke was hereditary, but . . . Amy might be on a helpful trail. My paternal grandma, and Amy’s maternal grandma (same person, Helen) died of Graves disease, which yesterday was news to me via Amy. My first reaction is Amy’s connection of several family medical events including my stroke is a stretch, but I’m revisiting this subject humble enough to know what I know may be helpful. Clearly my family calls yesterday shows we are aging, and we talk about medical more. My life events deemphasized sibling relationships, and strengthened Dad-side cousin relationships, and I’m not the first or the only one. Laurie was the first to go refugee to the Twohey’s and my brother David lives near and is closely linked with Jim and Laurie. Though these alternative family links were born from dysfunction today they seem normal and calming. What I want for Erin and Ryan is for them to see the troubled link to me in perspective. Each has a soiled relationship with their father, which is NBD knowing the links to my side of their family are healthy, available and abundant . . . how could I forget. The Dad’s side of their family is also fun and exiting. »» about me 302-990-2346 contact us

About Tom Doody

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel
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