Steffen’s shunning

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel «« In a recently archived text I wrote to Steffen. The inspiration to write Steffen came in the early AM before Hana and I left for John Jay NYC pool. Though Hana and I spent the day together I didn’t tell Hana, and this moment an AM later is the first time I’ve revisited the topic. What I’m trying to say is: “it was no big deal”. My click and tap history reports will show noteworthy attention on the post. Though I solicited a reply from Steffen I don’t expect one. Dear kind readers: If I tell you who Steffen is in a way that let’s you personalize my tale you’ll realize this is a big deal. For some of you if you play my imagination exercise fully you realize what I did by writing Steffen comes with risk you’re not willing to take. Sincerely, Tom Doody. The Amish shun, and the brutality of shunning has consequences. If only formalized by giving it a name, “shunned” the Amish have formalized it. Though we don’t have a name for it I’m calling what happened to Steffen with my family, “shunning”. And oh God I’ll say it, “Steffen was shunned”. I am the baby of five born to Bill and Martha, and one of my three sisters married Steffen in her first marriage. There was a baby on the way at the altar in Germany and that baby was a young child when they split. Steffen came into our family with most of us going to Germany for the wedding. I got my first passport for the trip and I was not the only first-time international traveler of the bride’s side. Steffen’s welcome was both sincere and grand, and then he was unfamilied without a sound. I was part of that passive shunning, and the recovery period from my son’s, David’s, death gave me an opportunity to reconcile with the emotion of objecting to Steffen’s shunning yet passively accepting it. The noteworthy attention I’ll have on my recent Steffen post tells me I have the attention of family, which means everybody has reason to know I broke the family order of Steffen’s shunning. Under traditional circumstances if I were to reconcile with my letter to Steffen at a family gathering I would be anxious, but in modern times with modern methods my against-family-order action will just be, “out there”, and be treated with the same silence of Steffen’s shunning. I’ve gotten passed my once hunger to be validated by Steffen’s favorable response, and today I surrender to my sister being his ex makes me his ex, and it ends there. Today I feel peaceful knowing I’ve made a statement against shunning in a way that says I went along with Steffen’s shunning passively, but I can’t be relied on to shun anyone else. In the recent decade three men and three women have married descendants of my parents, and any attempt to shun one of these new family members will not get my cooperation . . . everybody has reason to know this. »» about me 302-990-2346 contact us


About Tom Doody

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel
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