Ryan’s grandstanding

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel «« Through the White House press Melania spoke directly to Mika. Melania’s statement was a reaction to Mika articulating how shitty it must be to be Melania married to her facelift-insult Presidential husband. The words from Melania’s statement extracted for headlines were, “you don’t know me”. The promptness and content of Melania’s statement was brilliant. Melania did not dispute Mika’s claims and defend her husband, but instead gracefully took the high road effectively saying, “leave me out of your petty complaints about my husband”. This preamble is to set my reaction to my own words yesterday, “Erin and Ryan seem to want . . “. Though I’m their father I should know I am not authorized to speak for them. I should also not claim I know what they seem to want . . but . . . but . . this case is different. Years ago I solicited my bro to work as a diplomat and get me Ryan’s number. My bro’s diplomacy was effective, and I had Ryan’s number in time to call him on his birthday or his late brother’s, David’s, birthday (which occasion it was I can’t remember). Later I learned from my bro that he took some heat for supplying me with Ryan’s number. Those are the facts giving me justification of saying, “Erin and Ryan seem to want . . “ First I claim Ryan speaks for Erin, which could be challenged, but Ryan has been Erin’s spokesperson to me several times in the past giving me justification to claim something about Erin based only on Ryan’s actions. If Ryan just wanted to close me out he could have not answered my call and instead sent me a message to tell me to stop. Instead he took a route that sent ripples through family, and a trace of one of those ripples returned to me from my bro when he said, “I took some heat for getting you Ryan’s number”. My justification for saying, “Erin and Ryan seem to want . . “ is Ryan’s choice to send me a message back through family that I am not to call. Also at issue here is my ongoing sense I got a bunch of exwifes in a process creating only one formal exwife. I mistakenly for multiple half decades included Meg as one of my “exwives”, and happily learned in 2015 she’s good with me. I return to my bunch of exwives who I have reason to believe validate my status as a marginal family member with anecdotal moments, so the fact that Ryan wants it known he does not want to speak to me feeds that hunger for validation of my family status. Part of maturity is judging links to people independently. Ryan could transition for better and worse to treat me individually to see if there is a modified place for me in his life. He could judge me individually, but for now it’s grandstanding and sending ripples through the family. »» about me 302-990-2346 contact us


About Tom Doody

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel
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