fear of exposure to strangers

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel «« Cruel is a fresh vid in my youtube channel. “Time heals” is considered a phrase of wisdom, but I think it’s bull-shit wisdom. Time may close a wound, and for loss that means creating an outward image of health while continuing to harbor the internal damage from loss. In Michigan I was flying in my career as a food scientist, and engaged to be married. I got fired had a long unemployment, and the relationship with Connie died. I mourned for my Michigan crash, and mysteriously Mike hung on in facebook while other people did what I expect by not accepting my friend requests. In addition to the loss of Mike being predicted it also passed quickly like within an hour. I recorded the vid, left home, and now I sit in a barrio cafe feeling accomplished. The emotion in my voice in the vid, and my script expresses authentic emotion. I was hurt; I didn’t wait for time to heal; I did not wait for the wound to close . . . I got after it. Mike’s trouble is the exposure to people he does not know, so my wide-open expression is sure to make Mike withdraw, and remain publicly silent on the subject. In effect it gives me a relevant moment on the stage knowing I can say my peace also knowing he’s disable and can’t reach the stage . . . not fair. I know not fair, but there is no way to be fair in this situation. He opened his angry wife to me for her wack, and then ran out of time, which is not fair. Even though he was done listening to me I remained on stage balancing the injustice. Though it seems like I’m celebrating the loss of a friend I am not. I had already lost Mike emotionally, and his cameo was just that . . a cameo. My celebration is the process of losing a friend and feeling whole again quickly. Time is not needed to heal; healing must not be slow. I salivate thinking of 2017. »» about me 302-990-2346 nearlincoln@hotmail.com contact us

About Tom Doody

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel
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