desperate moment on youtube

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel «« The number of people who have expressed to me a negative reaction to my don’t-talk-to-ex policy is not: zero, one or two.  Erika, a serial reader who comments under a pseudonym, had reason to be petty.  This woman reads my text with an awesome level of reading comprehension, and she also expresses herself with precision, so there is not a trace of pettiness in her text though she had reason to be petty.  If Erika had expressed pettiness it would have sounded like this: “Tom the desperate moment you captured on youtube here could have been avoided if you attempted to make peace” then the kicker could have been, “I told you so”.  My don’t-talk-to-ex policy is unadvisable, and I deserve the troubles it causes me though my motivation comes from longer-term thinking.  I got word from the Camden New Jersey court that they are honoring my request for a new court date, and I texted the new date to Luke.  The minute I spent using a link to Luke is use of a link I want forever.  If I had abandoned my don’t-talk-to-ex policy, and I had direct communication with my ex, then I would be using a link out of situational necessity.  My purpose in ending my first marital relationship was to end it, but I never wanted to terminate my link to Luke.  Today I invested in Luke, which is a link I want to pass the test of time rather than using a link marked for termination. »» about me  302-990-2346  twitter  contact us

About Tom Doody

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel
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2 Responses to desperate moment on youtube

  1. Erika M says:

    Tom, I think the bottom line here is that your policy worked in this case, and appears that it will continue to work since you seem to be on decent terms with Luke. In fact, since it works, it’s actually probably for the better. I don’t imagine that most rational people want to have any more interaction or dialogue with an ex than is absolutely necessary and given the choice would probably choose to avoid it altogether if possible. So since you’re policy seems to be working- kudos to you and far be it for me to criticize it. Of course I do reserve the right to criticize it should it cause you to trip and fall flat on your face somewhere down the road!

    I also think that I wasn’t really taking the uniqueness of your situation into account either. I know many divorced people but none of them are really in the same situation that you are. Most have children that are still minors and most live within the same general metropolitan area as their ex-spouse and kids so there is much more cause for interaction. It’s pretty hard to not communicate directly when you are sharing custody, attending kids’ sporting events, concerts, activities etc. In fact, I can’t imagine how under those conditions your policy would work well at all. I’ll pose this question to you- if your kids were much younger and you lived in the same area as your ex and shared custody, would you still be an advocate of this policy?


  2. Tom Doody says:

    awesome Erika ciao Tomas


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