Candy Crush 57 not 75

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel «« Hana is not on Candy Crush Saga level 75 as I reported yesterday – my error.  She was and remains at 57 levels.  Randy writes what is a natural reaction to my claims of family craziness, “your family is almost as crazy as mine”.  She all-capped, “almost”.  It’s a long standing irony of family dysfunction: people think theirs is the worst.  Randi is fun online, and she demonstrates her sincerity and spontaneity in her comment – grazie Randi.  The truth is I spent a week as a family member at the Meadows in Wickenburg, Arizona, which is where Elliot Spitzer would have gone if he had taken a staffer’s advice, claimed sex addiction, and checked himself in.  This was proposed to get him passed the Client-Nine mess, but he declined the advice and resigned as NY Governor.  I mention this celebrity resume of the Meadows to support my claim: it was the Superbowl of messy families, and I can say mine was not the worst.  I read Pia Melody’s book about codependency, and I prepared myself for my late father to be accused of jumping my sister in the classic daddy’s-little-girl syndrome, but the accusations were not made, and I am pretty sure my late father was not jumping my sister.  I am also sure patterns of the daddy’s-little-girl syndrome were present in my family – whatever.  In summary, our family dysfunction follows the pattern of the aforementioned syndrome, but there are many families with worse problems.  Adding suicide thoughts and attempts, alcoholism, drug addiction, and eating disorders I get to numbers that matches my aforementioned assessment.  Why does it happen?  It’s easiest for me to describe an occasion were it did not happen when patterns were pointing to my destruction.  During the recovery of my late son’s, David’s, death I found family was my fuel to recovery, and I am excluded.  Family members who have crisis-level need for support are denied it, and if any of the aforementioned afflictions would have resulted in death, we would have stood graveside, and moved on pretending the death was tragic, but knowing all along we had our fingers on the off switch – whatever.  Everyone eventually dies of something, and a preventable suicide happens daily and may still strike my family.  I am not an evangelical blogger, and I am not pushing Pia Mellody’s bok (body of knowledge) into anyone’s life.  My blog primarily serves one person, and it’s me the blogger, so if benefit is extracted by my readers then so be it, but if not and I’ll stand graveside of a preventable premature tragic death, then I’ll be tapping my experience into this blog as a sequel.  All this preamble for one point.  In the recent forty-eight hours my blog contains the quintessential element of how I broke this particular (deny y exclude) cycle of pain.  FIRST: family exclusion is hurtful, so what if the person being excluded had access to the audience he or she was being excluded from, and here is one testimony to my blog that shows I have and audience.  With a little stretch one can imagine my audience includes the family that excludes me.  Here are the recent dance steps to a better dance: ONE: queen denier and excluder gets put in charge of family property  TWO: I want to use the property and I am anxious that’s I’ll be denied and ignored, so I write this.  My question: “Can you help?” came with careful thought, and I placed the text in my blog with a link to my sister  THREE: I’m ignored by both mother and sister, so I post this  FOUR: facebook ping puts me in a live one-to-one with my sister who says she wishes I had not made it about family dysfunction, and I should have just asked her, and given recent storm damage the property is unavailable for the period of my request  FIVE: I posted this.  Dear kind readers: Please note: the property has been trusted to my sister, and I am not in a position to demand it.  She says it’s unavailable for the time I requested, and I accept her assessment as final.  Sincerely, Tom Doody.  My struggle is not in doubting her, but rather how her delay was holding my vacation planning hostage.  In step four I got what I needed and my wife and I are moving on with our vacation planning – crisis averted. »» about me 201-490-9659 Lester y Erika contact us


About Tom Doody

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Candy Crush 57 not 75

  1. Erika M says:

    Tom, I think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. It sounds to me like your sister was telling you the truth- there is storm damage and the condo is currently unusable. I can understand how after being excluded from your family reunion you would be quick to assume the worst, but I think in this case you probably over-reacted. As for why she didn’t get back to you immediately, I can think of several reasons. ONE: She isn’t as wired into the instant communication that you are (e-mail, blogs, twitter, Facebook, etc.) and she may not have seen your message right away. TWO: She obviously has a strained relationship with you and may have wanted to put off what she knew would end up being some sort of inevitable confrontation (inconsiderate of her perhaps, but definitely human nature). I think you need to realize that not everyone is as comfortable as you seem to be with having their lives be an open book online. Although it definitely makes for interesting reading for your readers, I imagine that she (as well as other family members, friends, acquaintances, etc.) don’t necessarily appreciate having what should probably be a private exchange with you thrown out into cyberspace for anyone to view. I would be mortified to have my family members post some of the things about me that you have posted about your family members over the years. Just my two pennies worth.


  2. Pingback: Erika M | reference

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s