your friend, Tom

middle-age American living in New Jersey near the Lincoln Tunnel «« Dear Monique: Someplace in the fun night of conversations was a, “I wish you could talk to them” referring to a couple you know troubled about the death of their child.  Very little of my recovery from the death of my late son, David, came through professional counseling, but one moment is worth repeating here.  My elderly female therapist on Long Island said, “you’re not in denial”, and this observation was early like the first seven days post death notice.  I asked her how she knew, and she recalled me describing moments, conversations, and the image of my late son’s, David’s, body.  The car accident left him with a lethal head injury, so he was buried in a knit hat that was once mine, and I had told my therapist this, and she repeated my words as though they were important.  I did not know why it was important, and I could never have predicted I would be revisiting this moment with you right now.  It was the beginning of my crash-course recovery.  His death hit me so hard at times it physically debilitated me as through I were pinned to the bed sheets, and could not move forward – I was stuck, but the moments I felt stuck began to give me the confidence to know they would pass – not fast – not easy, but they would pass.  The opportunity for this couple to take a crash course has passed.  Por supuesto, they can move on, but now they’ve created a period of their life that defines them in contrast to my acute trauma theirs has become chronic.  It is highly unlikely they would talk to me, but I would consider it generous to me if they did, so please extend my invitation to call, and here’s an alternative: David Doody 1988 – 2007.  Your friend, Tom »» about me 201-490-9659 Randi Richards nearlincoln@hotmail.com contact us